I am not responsible for any brain explosions, robot shortoutages, insanity, or chaos caused by these questions.
Anyways... This is going to be one of the biggest compilements of riddles, paradoxes, and conundrums.
I will put the answer after the question. At the end I'll try and put the unanswerables.
Some of these are just jokes but only about 0.01% are.
If you're stuck on what a word means, get a lexicon. If you don't know what a lexicon is, look in a dictionary. Better yet, a lexicon is a dictionary!
I will not number these as they will probably add on infinitely. Instead, here is a chart:
Q = Question
A = Answer
? = Other.
N = Questions without answers.
Also, if I have a question, but the answer is blank, please submit an answer if you think you know it. Also you can submit riddles, conundrums, and paradoxes too.
Soon I will be adding my "Rebus" Puzzles.
?. This is it! My quiz. Now where to start...
Q. Your mission is not to accept this mission. Do you accept?
A. I accept to not accept.
Q. Awnser truthfully (Yes/No) to the following question.
Will the next word you say be "no"
A. Yes. (I said "no" out loud but typed the word yes)
Q. Which is heavier, a ton of lead or a ton of feathers.
A. They weigh the same.
Q. Which word in the English language is always pronounced incorrectly?
Q. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
A. She shoots a picture of her husband, holds it underwater to develop, and hangs it to dry. A2. They go paint-balling, scuba diving, and hang gliding.
Q. If you had only one match, on a freezing winter day, and you entered a room which contained a lamp, a kerosene heater, and a wood burning stove, which should you light first?
A. I would light the match first.
Q. A slim crocodile living in the Nile took a child. His mother begged to have him back. The crocodile could not only talk, but was also a great sophist and stated, "If you guess what I will do with him, I will return him. However, if you don't guess his fate, I'll eat him." What statement should the mother make to save her child?
A. "You will not eat my child." A2. " You will eat my child"-This would be very contradictory to what the crocodile said.
Q. Can you name four days that start with the letter "T"?
A. Tuesday, Thursday, Today, and Tomorrow.
Q. As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Each wife had seven sacks, Each sack had seven cats, Each cat had seven kits. Kits, cats, sacks and wives, How many were going to St. Ives?
A. One, the person who was going to St. Ives. He just met alot of people on the way.
Q. What weighs the same no matter how large it is. There are about three or more possible answers.
A. Shadows, Imagination, and empty space.
Q. How can you throw a ball so that it goes a short distance, comes to a total stop, reverses its motion, and then goes the opposite way. You are not allowed to bounce it against anything, hit it with anything, or tie it to anything.
A. Throw it upwards.
Q. Can you hear silence?
A. Yes, if you say it out loud.
Q. If a rooster lays an egg in the water, will the egg float or sink?
A. Roosters don't lay eggs.
Q. What is so fragile that when you say it's name you break it?
A. Silence. A2. Glass (Yells out "GLASS" in a high pitched voice.) "See look it broke..."
Q. A pig sweats 5 gallons of water. I drink 3 pints, and add another 6 quarts. Then the pig sweats 2 gallons and a quart. But I lose 3 cups, but I add 2 pints of my own sweat. Then the pig sweats another two cups, and I drink 5 quarts.
How much is left?
A. Pigs don't sweat.
Q. I am happy because I am sad, am I sad or happy?
A. I think it leans more towards happy.
Q. Im tall when im young and short when im old, the wind is my foe and I vanquish the cold.
Q. I love the night, and hide in the day. I hate the candle but love the corners. What am I.
A. Shadows or darkness.
Q. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
A. Then you are ¼ alive if it was literal. First you get scared half to death so your half alive. Then if you get scared again, half of a half is a fourth. A2. That is only an expression...
Q. Suppose that a spaceship travels in a straight line for half a minute and then doubles its speed, then a quarter minute later doubles its speed again, and so on ad infinitum. Where will it be at the end of the minute? It must be infinitely far away, but that can't be.
A. Well I think it'd crash into a planet or star by then...
Q. When can you say "Its tomorrow" and be correct?
A. 0.0000000001 seconds before tomorrow...
Q. How many months in a year have 28 days during leap years.
A. All months have 28 days in them.
Q. How many seconds are in a year?
A. 12, The 2nd of January, The 2nd of Feburary...
Q. How many seconds REALLY are in a year? Also what about weeks, hours, and minutes
A. A common year is 365 days = 8,760 hours = 525,600 minutes = 31,536,000 seconds.
Q. And leap years?
A. A leap year is 366 days = 8,784 hours = 527,040 minutes = 31,622,400 seconds.
Q. If a man in a butcher shop is 5 feet 6 inches tall,
what does he weigh?
A. Butchers weigh meat.
Q. Is marrying your widow's sister legal in the state of California or South Dakota?
A. Dead men aren't alloud to marry. A widow is someone who's husband died...
Q. What falls often but never moves?
Q. What breaks often but is made out of metal?
A. Cars "brake" alot.
Q. What is often a problem, but also tastes yummy?
A. Candy can be a problem when it rots your teeth out.
Q. Can a man drown in the fountain of eternal life?
A. Only if he doesn't drink the water.
Q. I have no feet but I can run. I give you health and give you fun! What am I?
A. Runescape. It "runs" on a server. And you get Hp (hitpoints AKA health) and it's fun to play. A2. Shoes.
Q. Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, when I have flown.
A. Rain. Some people measure how much it rains, but when they're done, the rain is gone.
Q. What is the speed of dark?
A. I think it is the opposite of the speed of light. But who knows.
Q. Suppose you have a lamp with a simple on/off switch. Press the switch when it is off and the lamp will be turned on, press it again and it will be turned off. Now suppose you run the following experiment. You turn the lamp on at the start of a minute. Thirty seconds later, you turn it off. In another fifteen seconds, you turn it back on, then 7 1/2 seconds later back off again, and so on throughout the midpoints of whatever time remains. Now the question is this. At the end of the minute, will the lamp be on or off?
A. I think the light would short out if you did that...
Q. What makes more noise dead then alive.
Q. What makes loud noise, yet sounds quiet?
A. Teachers. If you make loud noise, they say quiet. I'm not sure if this is the real answer though.
Q. What crashes but doesn't move?
Q. What sounds like death, but can be lucky?
Q. What opens while it closes?
A. A revolving door.
Q. How do you slam a revolving door?
A. Make sure someone is in the way. (or hire Chuck Norris)
Q. A man is fishing one day, he has a fishing rod, and some thick sticks. As he is fishing his hat falls in the water. How does he pull it out?
A. He grabs it with his hands.
Q. There are two merchants selling items at $1.00 they have over 100 items, but when they are done selling all the items they are broke... How can this be? (They did sell everything, and no one ripped them off or stole the money)
A. They traded eachother for eachothers items.
Q. 2 Fathers and 2 Sons walk into a shop, they each spend $5 but the shop owner takes $15. Why?
A. There is a Grandpa, a father, and a son. The grandpa is the father of the father of the son. So the father is the son of the grandpa. AKA it's really just 3 people.
Q. What word if said wrong is right and if said right is wrong?
Q. What is the end of time, the beginning of an eternity, the beginning of every ending, and the end of the universe?
A. The letter "E".
Q. If you have all the money in the world why cant you buy anything? You aren't dead and no one stole any of it.
A. A new currency would be made.
Q. If you where going at the speed of light and talked, could you hear it?
A. If you where movng at the speed of light you would be dead.
Q. What crime, that if you succeed in it, you will not be arrested, but if you don't, you will be arrested.
A. Suicide bombing.
Q. Let's say that there is a huge stone. This stone can not move nor can be moved. So how fast is it moving and in what direction? It's on Earth of course.
A. Well because of the Earth's rotational spin and the fact that it orbits, it would have to be moving someway, since it's on Earth.
Q. Pete and Repete where sitting on a wall. Pete fell off, so who was left?
A. No one, because Repete went down to help Pete. Unless he's some sort of heartless maniac killer and knocked him down himself.
Q. If E=MC squared (Energy = Matter to the speed of light squared) and you went to the speed of light squared what would happen to you?
A. You'd be dead
Q. Can you cut a circle twice so it becomes a triangle? You can't have 4 triangles or your wrong.
A. Cut off one fourth. That's the triangle. Cutting down the middle twice doesn't work because you'd get 4 triangles.
Q. What ryhmes with orange. Do not answer with the same word. It has a max of 3 words actually.
A. I only said max of 3 to throw you off. It's "Door hinge"
Q. Max's dog wasn't in front of him, behind him, or to one side of him. The dog also wasn't diagonal to him in any way. the dog wasn't above or below him too. were was max's dog? Please don't say it's in him because it's not...
A. It was to the other side of him.
Q. One. (yes this is a question)
A. How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb.
Q. A guy leaves home, makes three left hand turns, and upon arriving home he meets two men in masks. Who are they?
A. He was playing baseball and he sees the catcher and the umpire or whatever it is.
Q. What word can be written forward, backwards, or upside down and still be read left to right?
Q. An employee is at the back of the store he works at which has only two doors. One door is labeled "Do Not Enter". The other door is labeled "Please Use Other Door", assuming the employee can see and read(and understand) what the doors say and obeys them, what door does he use to get inside? Yes he does get inside.
A. He goes in through the "Employees Only" door on the side of the store.
Q. If you try to fail, and you succeed, which did you do?
A. You succeeded in failing. (both)
Q. A girl goes back in time and kills her grandmother. if she killed her grandmother she was never born because her mother was never born. Did the girl kill her grandmother? Also her father didn't marry another woman or anything. He died shortly after too.
A. The girl killed her grandmother after her mother was born.
Q. What have these four words got in common?
A. They all end in numbers.
Q. There was nothing, and then
One was added, and then
One was added, and --
There was none!
Explain how this happened
A. This started with a blank sheet of paper with "Nothing" on it. Then they added the word "ONE" and added ONE letter "N" infront of it, spelling "None".
Q. Besides the obvious fact that all 10 digits from 0-9 are present what is special about this number?
A. It's in alphabetical order.
Q. In what way are these two alike?
2:59 = ABC
A. 2:59 pm is one to three (one minute to three), which sounds like one two three
Q. If X = CAT and Z = DOG
What creature does L equal.
A. BEE. A = 1, B = 2...
Q. What is the answer to this math problem: (x-a)(x-b)... (x-y)(x-z). This includes ever letter of the alphabet.
A. In this problem, (x-x) would apear which is 0. So all these numbers would be multiplied by 0, thus the answer is 0.
?. Four is a number which, when spelled out, has 4 letters. Interestingly, there is no other whole number about which is true(AKA 8 doesnt have 8 letters in it or 9 doesn't have 9 letters if spelled out)
Can you think of at least four other arithmetic expressions, which, when spelled out have a number of letters equal to the number represented
?. For example, 7+9 does not work, for 7+9=16, but SEVEN PLUS NINE has 13 letters
Q.Can you find one for each of the mathematical operations below?
+(plus), -(minus), x(times), ÷(divided by),
SQUARE ROOT, and X to the Y power. (Hint- you can use "CUBED" and "SQUARED".)
A. "FIVE PLUS SIX" has 11 letter in it. 5 + 6 = 11
"TWENTY MINUS FIVE" has 15 letters in it. 20 - 5 = 15
"ONE TIMES SEVENTEEN" has 17 letters in it. 1 x 17 = 17
"SIXTY-SIX DIVIDED BY THREE" has 22 letters in it. 66 ÷ 3 = 22
"SQUARE ROOT OF ONE THOUSAND EIGHTY-NINE" has 33 letters in it. <1089 = 33 (< is my square root sign)
""TWO CUBED" has 8 letters in it. 2^3 = 8 (^ indicates that it is X to the Y power.)
Q.What has eyes that can't see, a tongue that can't taste, and a soul that can't die?
A. A shoe.
Q. What can you hear but not see and only speaks when spoken too.
A. An echo.
Q. Which is correct. I cooked an herb for an hour. I cooked a herb for a hour.
A. I cooked an herb for an hour.
Q. What can lie down on the forest floor, one hundred feet in the air?
A. A centipede.
?. CAN YOU NAME RULES; Unless otherwise stated in the puzzle, CAN YOU NAME awnsers cannot be proper names. They must be un-hyphenated, you can only use one form of the word(e.g, shopping and shopper don't count as two), the word must be english, and, for puzzle aesthetics, the word should be as common as possible
-extra note if it asks for a word with PP in it it can't be something like PUP because the two P's were split apart by one or more letters)
?. Can you name...
Q. Two words with WW? What about two with VV?
A. POWWOW, BOWWOW, SAVVY, REVVED.
Q. A word with OORK, OORB, OORD, OORH, OORG, and AARD.
A. DOORKNOB, DOORBELL, COORDINATION, DOORHINGE, MICROORGANISM, AARDVARK.
Q. A word with NDM
Q. Four words with NKN
A. One is UNKNOWN, but here are the others: BANKNOTE, PENKNIFE, FRANKNESS.
Q. One common word with (there can be more than one) FJ, BJ, GJ, NJ, DJ.
A. FJORD, OBJECT, LOGJAM, BANJO, ADJECTIVE.
Q. Three words that aren't proper names with II.
A. SKIING, TAXIING, RADII
Q. Three words that are proper names with II. NO WARS.
A. HAWAII, POPMPEII, WII
Q. Two words that begin and start with HE.
A. HEADACHE, HEARTACHE.
Q. One word that begins and ends with these... SE, ON, VE. Also, what do they have in common?
A. SENSE, ONION, and VERVE. Each of these only has one letter in the middle of each of them.
Q. If you put the same letters on the front and back of "ERGRO" you get a word. What is it?
Q. There are very few words with BV. Can you name all three?
A. One is OBVIOUS, but the others are these: OBVIATE, SUBVERSE.
Q. A word with 5 vowels in a row.
Q. A word with 5 consonants in a row.
Q. A word with all 6 vowels, two of which have them in correct order. There are MANY answers
A. UNROYALINESS, FACETIOUSLY, ABSTEMIOUSLY. Here are some in reverse order (except Y)... UNPROPRIETARY.
Q. A word with 6 consonants in a row.
Q. A word with 5 letters and one consonant. There are more than this I know of at least one more that I forgot...
Q. A word that has the same vowel 6 times in it, with only one different vowel at the end.
?. End of "CAN YOU NAME"
Q. By moving only one pail, line them up so that full pails and empty ones alternate
|~| is full
|--| is empty
A. Pour the contents of "2" into "B".
?. Change the following sentences' punctuation (periods semicolons etc) or add some to change the meaning completely or give them some sense.
You can not change or rearrage words.
Mathematical things like - + = or % and that stuff count as puncuation.
Q. "Charles the First walked and talked half an hour after his head was cut off."
A. "Charles the First walked and talked. Half an hour after, his head was cut off."
Q. Private! No Visitors Allowed. -----(Allow the visitors)
A. Private? No! Visitors Allowed.
Q. Next to blocks of ice cream in pails was stored. -----(Add one punctuation mark to fix this)
A. Next to blocks of ice, cream in pails was stored.
Q. He used and and and and and and and and and and and and and were incorrect.
A. He used "and." "and and," and "and and and." "and and" and "and and and" were incorrect.
Q. There is three errors in this sentance. Can you name them?
A. 1. is = are. 2. sentance = sentence. 3. The third error is that there are only two errors.
Q. Alice while Matthew had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher.
A. Alice, while Matthew had had "had," had had "had had." "Had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.
Q. That that is is that not that that is not that is that it it is.
A. That that is, is that. Not that that, is not that. Is that it? It is!
Q. How many apples can you fit in a 4x4x4in. empty box?
A. One because after that, it isn't empty.
Q. What's easier to give that receive?
A. Critisism, homework, and you'll have to come up with more
Q. If you win a loss did you win or lose?
A. You win a chance to lose the next time.
Q. What has a bottom at its top?
A. Your legs.
Q. What is always coming but never arrives?
Q. What is the last thing you take off before you go to bed?
A. Your feet off the floor.
Q. What are two things you can put in a barrel to make it lighter?
A. A hole and a torch.
Q. Answer this backwards
Q. What goes around a house but never moves?
A. A fence
Q. What goes up the stairs but never moves?
Q. What is H204
Q. What can you hold without touching it?
A. Your breath
Q. What starts with P and ends with E and has a billion letters in it?
A. Post office
Q. What starts with E, ends with E, only has one letter in it, but isn't E
Q. What are the forums?
A. One-ums plus three-ums
Q. Can you explain why it is impossible for it to rain two days in a row in a rainforest?
A. There is a night in between
Q. What goes up and down but never moves?
A. Stairs and temperature
Q. Jim thought of a secret five-letter word, and Ed made the seven guesses given below. After each guess, Jim told Ed how many letters were correct.
"I still don't know your secret word" Ed said
"I'll give you a hint" Jim said "One of the words you guesses ends with the same letter that my word ends with"
"I know that" replied Ed "But there are still three possible words"
Question # 1: What are the three possible words?
Question # 2: Did Ed really " Know that?"
If the secret word were GUEST, then the guess SWARM would score 1, the letter S being in common, If the secret word were PANEL, then the guess BILLS would score 2, as two letters of the five in BILLS are in PANEL. If the secret word was ROOMS, then the guess DODGE would score 1.
I assure you that this puzzle has an awnser, and that there is no trick phrasing or unfair gag.
A. Possible answers are CIGAR, VICAR, and CHAIR
Q. Why did the wood-saw?
Why did the butter-fly?
Why did the fly fly?
A. Because the tin-can
Because the spider spied-her
Because the flea-flee'd
Q. The bank cashier could tell some interesting experiences which occurred to enliven the routine of ordianry business, and of some interesting problems of a very puzzling nature.
What would you do, for instance, if somone turned in a check for 200 dollars and said, "Give me some one dollar bills, ten times as many twos, and the balance in five's!"
I say, what would you do?
A. (I would bop him upside the head and keep the money) A2. I'd give him 5 one dollar bills, 50 two dollar bills, and 19 five dollar bills.
Q. What cup can you never drink from and only comes if you drink.
Q. Here is a puzzle that is more difficult than it seems to be at first. Judy was very sensitive on the matter of her age. So for the last two score years she has invariably awnsered queries pertaining to her earthly sojourn by the following little verse, which was doubtless quite correct when first perpetrated.
Five times seven and seven times three
Add to my age and it will be
As far above six nines and four
As twice my years exceeds a score
Can you tell Judy's age? (remember, a "score" is 20 years...)
Q. Can you think of five odd figures to add up to 14.
Can you think of seven odd figures that add up to 20.
A. 1 + 1 + 1 + 11 -I said figures. Not numbers. so there are 5 figures that add up to 14. If you couldn't figure that out, that figures doesn't it.
1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 15
Q. Take four numbers, all alike, and arrange them so as to add up to 100. it is not 25+25+25+25=100. They must be single digits.
A. 99 + 9/9 = 100
Q. Place a word in the first space, or spaces, of each sentence, which make sense when repeated in the second, even though it may have a different meaning.
1. With the _ _ gave me I _ a picture(Example: pain Ted -- painted)
2 The mischievous young _ _ over the _ flowerbeds and ruins them
3. He _ _ minutes to catch the train so he must _ or be left
4. It is almost _ to tell the gardener he must _ _ water
5. the _ _ brother performed was to catch a _ on his nose.
6. His sister _ _ in the hammock saw him _ out for a walk
1. With the pain Ted gave me I painted a picture
2 The mischievous young _ _ over the _ flowerbeds and ruins them.
3. He _ _ minutes to catch the train so he must _ or be left
4. It is almost _ to tell the gardener he must _ _ water
5. the _ _ brother performed was to catch a _ on his nose.
6. His sister _ _ in the hammock saw him _ out for a walk
Q. "You can't tell a dog's age by the number of rings in his bark." said the puzzler, "but five years ago sister was four times older than fido, now she is only three times as old!"
Charley Slowpop is very anxious to know fido's age. Can you help him?
Q. What's the longest rope?
Q. What belongs to you but is used 99% of the time MORE by others?
A. Your name.
Q. In each of the following sentences a word is concealed. When the words are rightly guessed and read in the order here given, they will form a familiar proverb.
1. A naughty cat ran away
2. They found a closely written roll in gathering up the rubbish.
3. It is the best one that i have ever seen.
4. The rug at her stairway is not a valuable one
5. He is an old acquaintance of mine.
6. Amos soon saw through the stratagem
A. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
Q. I am a word of five letters
Multiply my fifth by two and you have my first
Divide my first by twenty and you have my third
Divide my third by five and you have my second and fourth
What is the word?
Q. I am a word of five letters
Divide my first by my last to get my last.
Divide my first by my third to get my second and fourth.
What is the word?
Q. I am a word of five letters
Divide my first by my last to get my second and fourth.
Multiply my second by 5 to get my third.
What is the word?
Q. This is a classic puzzle of antiquity, many centuries old...
What creature is it that walks of four feet in the morning, two feet during mid-day, and three feet in the evening?
A. Humans, when we a young we crawl on four feet, in the middle we use two, and when we are old we walk on two feet with a cane.
Q. You have a new pencil, with no eraser.
You can draw a line that is exactly 12 inches long before you need to sharpen the pencil.
Sharpening the pencil takes exactly one inch off of the length of the pencil. How many feet of line can you draw with this pencil?
Q. I invented a robot named Jimmy. This robot has fingers, and can type just like a real person.
Jimmy types at a continuous rate, and can type the numbers 1 to 100 in 30 seconds exactly
What is the maximum number of numbers that Jimmy can type in 10 minutes?
How many times can Jimmy type his own name in 10 minutes?
Q. What can you give away but keep at the same time?
A. A cold.
Q. What can walk but never run?
Q. What run but never rwalk?
A. Rivers run.
Q. What is there more of the less you see?
Q. The mystery of the clock room...
1. There were 4 people
2. All told the truth.
3. No two or more persons were ever in the clock room at the same time.
4. It is impossible to see the clock from anywhere outside the Clock room.
5. The clock in the Clock Room runs at the exact correct speed.
6. The clock never stops running.
7. Three people swear the clock displayed the correct time when they saw it.
8. One person swears the clock displayed an incorrect time when the person saw it.
9. All four people saw the clock during the same 1-day period
A. The clock runs backwards.
Q. What's always bigger when upside down?
Q. What always weighs less when upside down?
A. A cup of water
Q. If a woman is born in China, grows up in Australia, goes to live in America, and dies in New Orleans, what is she?
Q. What can go through water without getting wet?
A. Sun rays
Q. When a boy falls in water what's the first thing he does?
A. Gets wet
Q. What do you call a person who doesn't have all their fingers on one hand?
A. Normal. What kind of person has all their fingers on one hand?
Q. What did the burglar say to the lady that caught him stealing her purse?
A. I'm at your service ma'am. (He was pretending to be a bag-carrier)
Q. What's higher without a head than with one?
A. A pillow
Q. Who gets the sack everytime they go to work?
A. The mailman
Q. What has no legs but can walk, run, and jump?
Q. Why do you go to bed?
A. The bed doesn't go to you.
Q. What cup can't be filled even by all the water in the universe?
A. No cup can be filed by all the water in the universe! It'd overflow!
Q. The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I?
Q. If SMILES is one mile long between the S's, can you name a word thats even longer?
A. Beleagued, a league is 3 miles!
Q. What starts working only when it's fired?
A. A rocket.
Q. What's at the end of the world?
A. The letter D
Q. Whoever makes it, tells it not.
Whoever takes it, knows it not.
Whoever knows it, wants it not.
What is it?
A. Counterfeit money.
Q. What can you hold but never touch?
A. A thought
Q. What's the center of gravity?
A. The letter V
Q. When does Friday come before Wednesday?
A. The dictionary
Q. What do you call a woman that shaves over 50 times a day?
A. A barber
Q. What's black when clean and white when dirty?
A. A blackboard
Q. What does a girl look for but hopes she never finds?
A. A hole in her pants.
Q. What's taken before you get it?
A. Your picture
Q. Three guests check into a hotel. The Cashier says the bill is $30 so each pays $10. Later the cashier decides the bill should only be $25. To rectify he gives the bellhop five singles to return to the guests. On the way back to the room the bellhop realizes that he cannot divide the money evenly. As they didn’t know the total of the revised bill, he decides to give each guest a dollar and keep two for himself.
Now that the guests have been given a dollar back, each has paid $9. Three times nine is 27 and the bellhop has $2. Two plus 27 is 29. If the guests originally handed over $30 so where is the missing dollar?
A. You don't add the $2. 27 - 2 = 25... The bellhop took the $2 out of this.
Q. What gets bigger and bigger as you take away from it?
A. A hole
Q. What goes up but doesn't go down?
A. Your age.
Q. What 2 questions can you never awnser yes to?
A. Are you asleep? Are you dead?
Q. What has hundreds of holes but holds water?
Q. What has four fingers and a thumb but no hand?
Q. What coat can you put on only when it's wet?
A. A coat of paint
Q. If everyone is afraid of me and only I am not afraid of me, am I afraid of me or not?
Q. Two closed boxes, Bl and B2, are on a table. Bl contains $1,000. B2 contains either nothing or $1 million. You do not know which. You have an irrevocable choice between two actions:
1. Take what is in both boxes.
2. Take only what is in B2.
At some time before the test a superior Being has made a prediction about what you will decide. It is not necessary to assume determinism. You only need be persuaded that the Being's predictions are "almost certainly" correct. If you like, you can think of the Being as God, but the paradox is just as strong if you regard the Being as a superior intelligence from another planet or a supercomputer capable of probing your brain and making highly accurate predictions about your decisions. If the Being expects you to choose both boxes, he has left B2 empty. If he expects you to take only B2, he has put $1 million in it. (If he expects you to randomize your choice by, say, flipping a coin, he has left B2 empty.) In all cases Bl contains $1,000. You understand the situation fully, the Being knows you understand, you know that he knows, and so on.
What should you do? Clearly it is not to your advantage to flip a coin, so that you must decide on your own.
Q. In a certain village there is a man, so the paradox runs, who is a barber; this barber shaves all and only those men in the village who do not shave themselves. Does the barber shave himself?
Q. Whenever Cellini made a sign, he inscribed a false statement on it, and whenever Bellini made a sign, he inscribed a true statement on it. Also, we shall assume that Cellini and Bellini were the only sign-makers of their time...
You come across the following sign:
[THIS SIGN WAS MADE BY CELLINI]
Who made the sign? If Cellini made it, then he wrote a true sentence on it - which is impossible. If Bellini made it, then the sentence on it is false - which is again impossible. So who made it?
Q. What weapon was most feared by all midieval knights that is still used today?
Q. Almost everyone sees me without noticing me, For what is beyond is what he or she seeks.
What am I?
A. A window.
Q. There are 20 people in an empty, square room. Each person has full sight of the entire room and everyone in it. If you are not allowed to move in any way (other than your eyes). Where can you place an apple so that all but one person can see it?
A. On top of one's head.
Q. Three men were in a boat. It capsized and all three men got completely submergged under water but only two got their hair wet. How could this be?
A. One is bald.
Q. Three other people were in a boat, and it too capsized. Everyone was completely submerged underwater, but only two of the men got wet. How could this be?
A. One was a woman.
Q. What's the best way to win a race?
A. Be first
Q. During what battle was Lord Nelson killed?
A. His last one
Q. How do you make a fire with two sticks?
A. Make sure one is a match
Q. What's at the end of everything?
A. The letter G
Q.What does man love more than life? Fear more than death or mortal strife? What do the poor have, what the rich require, And what contented men desire? What does the miser spend, the spendthrift save, And all men carry to their graves?
Q. I have one leg, 324 feet, 1 million arms, and 46 heads. What am i?
A. A liar.
Q. Name 5 inventions that have helped mankind up in the world.
A. Stairs, escalators, elevators, ladders, and alarm clocks.
Q. How do you make holy water?
A. Burn the hell out of it.
Q. What is a crushed rectangle?
A. A wrecked-angle
Q. Who is the smallest man in the world?
Q. What can jump higher than Mt. Everest?
A. Anything. Have you ever seen Mt. Everest jump?
Q. Where do you find baby soldiers?
A. In the infantry.
Q. Where are the Andes?
A. On your armies
Q. Where do you keep your armies?
A. Up your sleevies
Q. What's the definition of intense?
A. Where campers sleep.
Q. What is abundance?
A. A dancing muffin.
Q. No human is free from control, because even when they are free from the control of others, they are under their own control. So how can someone have no control and not be controled?
A. They have to be dead
Q. What do you call a guy who stands around all day making faces for his job?
A. An artist
Q. A man travels back in time to discover the cause of a famous fire. While in the building where the fire started, he accidentally knocks over a kerosene lantern and causes a fire, the same fire that would inspire him, years later, to travel back in time.
A. Just a story.
Q. When does B come after U
A. When you take its honey
Q. What did the first mind reader say to the second mind reader?
A. Your fine. How am I?
Q. What do you call superman with no powers?
Q. Statistics say that one in three people is mentally ill. Check two of your friends and if they seem OK your the one...
A. Oh ya... There is no answer!
Q. Name three famous poles
A. North, South, Tad
Q. What is red and white?
Q. When is a car not a car?
A. When it turns into a driveway
Q. What ancient technology that is still used in some parts of the world today...
can instantly double your money?
make you almost 25 feet taller?
is made of wood yet is so flimsy you can tear it?
can teleport you anywhere almost?
let you walk through walls
can uncook food?
can instantly make you blind for 1 second to weeks?
can make you have 20/20 vision or make it worse?
can make you change colors?
A. Mirrors, ladders, paper, cars, doors, freezers, blindfolds, glasses, clothing.
Q. What's wrong with the next sentence? Take a picture of me standing by the Statue of Liberty's shoes.
A. The Statue of Liberty doesn't wear shoes.
Q. In a game of two people, which person would win? The first person can read the other persons mind. The second person can predict the future correctly. They both know of eachothers powers.
Q. A time traveler sends himself information with no outside source. He goes back in time to tell himself "Do not go back in time to say this." Does he deliver this messege to himself or not?
Q. On his 30th birthday, a man who wishes to build a time machine is visited by a future version of himself. This future self explains to him that he should not worry about designing the time machine, as he has done it in the future. So how did he go back in time?
Q. I have hands that wave at you, Though I never say goodbye. It's cool for you to be with me, Especially when I say, "HI." What am I?
A. A clock
Q. My thunder comes before the lightning;
My lightning comes before the clouds;
My rain dries all the land it touches.
What am I?
A. A volcano
Q. What can't you keep until you give it?
A. A promise
Q. What falls but never crashes?
Q. In space if something is moving through it it will go on forever at the same speed. What happens if you throw a bomb into space and it explodes. What happens to the fire from the explosion if it goes in all directions? would it hit earth?
A. There is nothing in space, so the fire would not be able to stay lit, it would dissapate.
Q.Whats big, red, and eats rocks?
A. A big red rock eater
Q. Whats small, blue, and eats marshmallows?
Q. Which of the following statements are true?
1. At least one of these ten statements is false.
2. At least two of these ten statements are false.
3. At least three of these ten statements are false.
4. At least four of these ten statements are false.
5. At least five of these ten statements are false.
6. At least six of these ten statements are false.
7. At least seven of these ten statements are false.
8. At least eight of these ten statements are false.
9. At least nine of these ten statements are false.
10. At least ten of these ten statements are false.
Q. If your sock drawer has 6 black socks, 4 brown socks, 8 white socks, and 2 tan socks, how many socks would you have to pull out in the dark to be sure you had a matching pair?
Q. How did Mark legally marry three women in Michigan, without divorcing any of them, becoming legally separated, or any of them dying?
A. I think there are 3 Mark's bt I don't know the real answer.
Q. Mom and Dad have four daughters, and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the family? It is not 10.
A. 7. Mom, Dad, four daughters, only one brother.
Q. What English word retains the same pronunciation, even after you take away four of its five letters?
Q. A person kills over 100 people, yet he isn't in trouble for doing it.How?
A. He's a suicide bomber.
Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. "The alphabet" has 11 letters
Q. What stinks when living and smells good when dead?
Q. When is it bad luck to meet a white cat?
A. When your a mouse
Q. What can you throw but not catch?
A. A party. A2. Up (throw up- I doubt you'd even want to catch it and even if you did you couldn't possibly catch all of it in your hands.)
Q. What can you catch but not throw?
A. A cold
Q. If there are three pieces of chocolate and you take one away how many do you have left?
A. I will still have three pieces, because you took a piece of a piece of chocolate. So they are just smaller pieces.
Q. A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you to six years in prison." After the man made his statement, the judge decided to let him go free. What did the man say?
A. "You will sentence me to six years in prison." The judge didn't want to contradict himself and let him free.
Q. How many letters are in this sentence?
A. "This sentence" has 1 more letter than "the alphabet." (12)
Q. Unorthodox paradox...
How can any person on Earth bend any joint in any direction with no limit as to how far it can bend without feeling any pain?
A. It has to have been broken off already for about 2 years.
Q. You approach two talking doors. One door leads to the City of Truth, while the other door leads to the City of Liars. You do not know which door is which. You are able to ask only one question to determine which door is which. The door that leads to the City of Liars always speaks lies, while the door that leads to the City of Truth always speaks the truth. You want to go to the City of Truth. What question do you ask to determine which door leads to the City of Truth
Q. It's more powerful than God.
It's more evil than the devil.
The poor have it.
The rich need it.
If you eat it, you'll die.
What am I
Q. The one who makes it sells it.
The one who buys it doesn't use it.
The one who's using it doesn't know he's using it.
What is it
A. A coffin
Q. What has 5(sometimes 4) hands but is normal
A. A watch
Q. What is as big as you but weighs nothing?
A. Your shadow.
Q. If you have me, you want to share me, but if you share me, you don't have me anymore. What am I?
A. A secret
Q. I have 10 pieces of chocolate. My brother asks for 4. How many do I have left?
A. 10. My brother only asked, so I don't really have to give him any.
Q. Take away the whole and some still remains. What is it?
A. The word: WHOLESOME
Q. A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and points it at him. The man says, thank you and leaves. Why?
A. He scared away the man's hiccups
Q. Two cops walked into a room with no windows and found a dead man who obviously hung himself from the ceiling, though they couldn't figure out how. There was no chair beneath him that he might have jumped off of, or a table. Just a puddle of water. How'd he do it
A. He stood on a block of ice.
Q. What does the letter T and an island have to do with eachother?
A. They are both surrounded by WATER
Q. A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breath under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said, "that's nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no types of equipment or air pockets!" The magician told the kid if he could do that, he'd give him $10,000. The kid did it and won the money. Can you figure out how?
A. He had a cup of water, and held his head under it. That's underwater.
Q. Sabrina gave Samantha as many dollars as Samantha started out with.
Samantha then gave Sabrina back as much as Sabrina had left.
Sabrina then gave Samantha as back as many dollars as Samantha had left, which left Sabrina broke and gave
Samantha a total of $80.00.
How much did Sabrina and Samantha have at the beginning of their exchange?
A. Sabrina started with $50, and Samantha started with $30.
Q. If you're 8 feet away from a door and with each move you advance half the distance to the door.
How many moves will it take to reach the door.
A. You will never reach the door if you only go halfway each time.
Q. Late one evening, a man and a his wife were driving their car at a speed down a country road. The car spun off the road and hit a tree.
The man decided to seek help at a garage a few miles away.
He made sure nobody was in the car, rolled all the windows up, and locked all of the doors.
When he returned, his wife was dead, and there someone in the car he had never seen before.
No physical damage was done to the car, it was still locked?
How did the woman die?
Where did the stranger come from?
A. The woman died of childbirth. The stranger is a baby.
Q.What kind of black ink pen can write in black on white paper, but can write in white on black paper? The only ink in the pen is black.
A. Any pen, if you can scratch off the black on the black paper.
Q. On April Fool's Day, somone stole the court jester's cap. The king rounded up five tricky characters and interrogated them to determine which one was the guilty party. Here is a summary of their statements
"It wasn't Edward Egghead.
It was Brian Badboy."
"It wasn't Charlie Chuckles.
It wasn't Edward Egghead."
"It was Edward Egghead,
It wasn't Arnold Allgood."
"It wasn't Charlie Chuckles.
It was Brian Badboy."
"It was Derek Duper.
It wasn't Arnold Allgood."
Each tricky character bragged that he told exactly one lie. Knowing that, the king was able to determine the identity of the thief. Who was it? Identify there lie and explain how you got your awnser.
A. I think it was Brian Badboy. Arnold Allgood lied about lying. Brian Badboy lied about lying. Charlie Chuckles lied about Edward Egghead. Derek Duper lied about lying. Edward Egghead lied about Derek Duper.
Q. Is the cup half empty or half full?
A. It depends, did someone drink from it yet? Because if someone drank from it then it was full before but whoever drank from it was emptying it by drinking some so it is half empty. But if you were filling up the cup then it was empty before but your filling it so it would be half full.
Q. If the temperture today is 0 degrees, and the weather channel says it will be twice as cold, what will the temperture be.
This is that part with the weird unanswerable questions!
These are the "Ponderisms"
Q. Does a poisonous snake die if it bites it's own tongue?
Q. Can a snail have houseguests?
Can a hermit crab have houseguests?
Q.If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year(366 on leap years)
Why are there locks on the doors?
Q. If olive oil is made from olives and peanut oil is made form peanuts what is baby oil made from?
Q. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon how does Teflon stick to the pan?
Q. Why do people sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Q. If a sign writer goes on strike do they leave their ranter signs blank?
Q. Does a mailman deliver his own mail?
it + is = it's
is + not = isn't
it + is + not = It'sn't???
I + have = I've
have + not = haven't
I + have + not = I've'nt???
I + will = I'll
will + not = won't
I + will + not = I'on't?????????????????????? This is the most confusing one.
he + would = he'd
would + not = wouldn't
he + would + not = He'dn't
Q. What is the point of not mixing in the whites with the colors if the washing machine is white?
Q. What's the point of a door that says "Always keep this door shut"? I've really seen a door with that sign.
Q. "If there is an exception to every rule, then every rule must have at least one exception, excepting this one" ...is there an exception to the rule that states that there is an exception to every rule? Except, if there is an exception to such a rule, then no rule would have any exceptions which means this can't have an exception...?!
Q. Many documents contain pages on which the text "This page is intentionally blank" is printed, thereby making the page not blank. Can you explain why?
Q. One grain of sand is not a heap. If you don't have a heap, then adding only one grain of sand won't give you a heap. Then no number of grains of sand will make a heap. Similarly, one hair can't make the difference between being bald and not being bald. But then if you remove one hair at a time, you will never become bald. Also similar, one dollar will not make you rich, so if you keep this up, one dollar at a time, you will never become rich, no matter how much you obtain. So at what point would be the difference between nothing and everything?
Q. You have 3 dice. The game is to see which dice rolls highest. The dice are labeled A, B, and C. A will beat B. B will beat C. C will beat A. Which dice has the highest number?
Q. How do you win a game against an omniscient opponent?
Q. If matter can not be destroyed what happens to the matter that goes in a black hole?
Q. Why is the night sky black if there is an infinity of stars?
Q. Can an omnipotent being create a rock too heavy to lift?
Q. If truth does not exist, the statement "truth does not exist" is a truth, thereby proving itself incorrect. So is this true of false?
Q. Can there be a creature that only exists if you don't believe it exists and doesn't exist if you believe it exists? Does it exist?
Q. If a cat always lands on its feet and buttered bread always lands on the buttered side, what happens when a cat with buttered bread (buttered side up) strapped to itself falls?
Q. Which is better, eternal happiness or a ham sandwich? It would appear that eternal happiness is better, but this is really not so! After all, nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a ham sandwich is certainly better than nothing. Therefore a ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness. So which one is better?
Q. Since water always expands when it's frozen into ice, what would happen if you had an inexpandable, indestructible, unbreakable, and invincible container completely filled with water put in a place were it would be at absolute 0? Would the water expand as it always does when it's frozen and break the container or what? Also the lid is on air-tight. No actualy it's particle or atom-tight. (If you get a little glass jelly-jar and fill it with water, then freeze it, the jar will break.)
Q. If there is a person who's job is to kill killers, would he kill himself?
Q. If a perfect circle is 360 degrees does that mean a perfect sphere has 237600 degrees? (360x360)
Q. Would a suicide bomber's friend call them "Da bomb?"
A. (I don't think suicide bombers have friends)
Q. How come you can't make some sort of electric generator, that runs on electricity, but... it produces more energy than it consumes so it would be able to make an infinite surplus of energy, without anyone having to ride some sort of treadmill or something? (unless it breaks)
Q. Can you get cornered in a round room?
Q. If you are in your car, traveling faster then speed of light, what will happen when you turn on your headlights .
Q. Why do people call it a "boxing ring"?
Q. Let's say there is a bullet which can shoot through any barrier. Let's also say there is an absolutely bullet-proof armor which no object can penetrate. What will happen if such a bullet hits such an armor?
Q. Two boxes are labelled "A" and "B". A sign on box A says "The sign on box B is true and the gold is in box A". A sign on box B says "The sign on box A is false and the gold is in box A". Assuming there is gold in one of the boxes, which box contains the gold?
Q. Is there such a thing as clean dirt?
Q. Say you had two movable portal that were connected across the dimensions. There was no physical bond between them, but whenever you put something into one it comes out the other; and vice versa. Now, say that one day you slip while carrying a portal, and you drop it into the other one. What happens?
Q. This statement is false, true or false?
Q. Is nothing something, when nothing is something. But if nothing is nothing then it can't be something, so something can't be nothing. But nothing is something because there is no such thing as nothing, but if nothing is voidness then nothing must be something. But what if nothing was actually nothing, so then there is such a thing as nothing meaning that nothing must be something. So which is it?
A. This is my favorite question.
Q. What would happen if a vampire drank the blood of a sun-being.
Q. What is the most impossible question?
A. This one, but by answering it so easily, it isn't so...???
Q. What color is a mirror?
Q. The following statement is true
If this sentence is true, the world will be destroyed in 2 weeks, and if it is false, the world will not be destroyed until the time it will naturally be destroyed. The previous statement is false. Assuming these are all true when will the world be destroyed?
Q. A Cretan sails to Greece and says to Greek men who stands upon the shore: "All Cretans are liars." Did he speak the truth or did he lie?
?.A week later, the Cretan sailed to Greece again and said: "All Cretans are liars and all I say is the truth." Although the Greeks ashore weren't aware of what he said the first time, they were truly puzzled.
Q. There is a wide variety of puzzles about an island in which certain inhabitants called "knights" always tell the truth, and others called "knaves" always lie. It is assumed that every inhabitant of the island is either a knight or a knave...
Suppose A says, "Either I am a knave or else two plus two equals five." What would you conclude.?
If A is a knight, then two plus two equals five, which is not true. If A is a knave, then he is speaking the truth, which is not possible. What is he?